It has a name.

I was getting a transfusion yesterday and my hematologist and nurse practitioner came by for a visit.  It was the first time I had actually seen someone face to face since I got the quick – here’s your diagnosis- phone call on Weds (8/21).

It’s one thing to have a doctor tell you over the phone, but when she said the words out loud in front of me, it was like having the wound ripped open again.  Luckily I held it together enough to pay attention to what she was saying.

The name of my cancer is:  Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with lobular features.

Apparently, IDC is the most common form of breast cancer but I’m still trying to figure out what lobular features are.  I am holding out hope that somehow those features make me sparkly at night.

They are still running tests on my biopsies:  ER, PR and Her-2neu.   The ER & PR are estrogen and progesterone (we want them to be positive) and I think the Her-2neu determine how fast growing the cancer is (we want this to be slow growing).   I also have PET/CT scan scheduled for next Tuesday and that will determine a) the stage I’m in and 2) if it has spread.

The best possible outcome is that it is an Estrogen or Progesterone positive, slow growing, low stage cancer with no spreading.  If that is the case, then I’m probably having a double radical mastectomy within the next two – three weeks with anti-hormone therapy and possible radiation.

If it’s not hormone based – it’s radiation and mastectomy.

If it has spread, let’s just not go there.

Because of my aplastic anemia – I’m not eligible for chemotherapy.

That’s all the medical stuff that I know right now.  We should know a lot more next Wednesday.

I’m dealing okay.  I have to tell my 9yo niece this morning and I’m not looking forward to that.  Her life should be all about 5th grade, gymnastics and American Girl dolls – not unpleasantness.

I am using visualization.  In my head the cancer cells have turned into little green meanies wearing Bruin jerseys.  🙂   Total motivation to kick their asses!

Fight on!





11 Comments on “It has a name.”

  1. Jennifer Hargrove says:

    Sending prayers for positive news.


  2. Aimee says:

    Are you seeing Dr. MacDonald? I have an appt with her Wed at Norris… Maybe we can meet up if you’re there?


    • Pam says:

      My hemo told me yesterday that she is leaning towards me having Dr. MacDonald as my surgeon/oncologist. I’m not scheduled to be in on Wednesday but things seem to change by the minute. I’ll know for sure if she’s my doc after my PET/CT on Tuesday morning is read (hopefully Tuesday afternoon!). I’ll keep you posted. Hope all is well with you!


      • Aimee says:

        Genetic counseling on BRCA – I found out some family history: mother, grandmother, aunt and a sister have all had BC… I may be joinging you in the mastectomy ward!


  3. Stacy Kennedy says:

    Thanks for posting this, cousin. I’m thinking of you every day. Keep your spirits up, you’ll get through this.


  4. Kim says:

    I saw Dr. MacDonald give a talk last year. Super impressive! Clearly you will be in great hands. xo


  5. Lori Lewis says:

    Praying for – Estrogen or Progesterone positive, slow growing, low stage cancer with no spreading.

    And thanks to how you handled it, Lilli’s life will remain about everything it should be 🙂

    Love you!


  6. Mindy says:

    Been thinking about you ever since I rec’d your email. You’re handling this the same way that you handle everything thrown at you . . .in an optomistic, loving manner while thinking about everyone but yourself. I’ve loved you since you were born and will keep nothing but positive energy headed your way!!


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