Is there a greeting card for this?

Today is my 1 year cancerversary.

From what I’ve seen online, there are many different ways to determine this date:  date of surgery, last chemo, last radiation, the one year clearance, etc…

I’ve chosen my date of official diagnosis.

It was last year on a Wednesday (after an evening of leaving a shit-ton of messages on my doctor’s and her NP’s voice mails demanding to know why they weren’t calling me with the biopsy results after they said they would but instead wanting me to schedule an appointment that Friday) that my doctor called me from her way into work and gave me the news.

This set off months of tests and “when is surgery?” – if you’ve read the whole blog you know the issues.

Where I am today:

1.  Still have my tumor.  (I always say “tumor” in the Schwarzenegger voice – it’s a must)

2. I’m keeping my tumor for the foreseeable future.

I have a new oncologist.  My last one departed USC for University of Texas.  My new doctor is so chillaxed about the whole thing.  Just what I need.  She is totally cool with not doing any chemo, rads or surgery.  It’s my other doctors that are freaked out about the no surgery thing.  My hematologist scheduled an appointment with me to make sure that I understood that medicine won’t hold me forever.

Well, duh!

Tamoxifen isn’t a cure for cancer, just a bit of insurance after chemo, rads and surgery.  So I’m well aware that it won’t be a cure for me, that we may just handle things in “prevent the spread” mode.  When I decided against surgery due to other complications from my other issues, I fully realized what my choice meant.  Not. An. Idiot.

Although, this stupid drug does induce brain fog.

And muscle and joint pain.

And insomnia.

And weight gain.  (10 lbs up, bitches)

And a new need for glasses.

And emotions that dart and weave all over the place.

Did I mention weight gain?

photo (2)


Anyway, so it’s been a year.  Things seem good.  My tumor did shrink a tiny bit between July and August.

There’s also plenty to look forward to.

My niece is coming for the weekend this Saturday!

And….I’m seeing Kinky Boots for my birthday in November!

And…I’m seeing Brian Setzer Orchestra at Christmas!

AND, The best of all….


Fight On!


5 Comments on “Is there a greeting card for this?”

  1. Penny Korn says:

    Yea Pam! Enjoy your weekend with Lilly and of course Trojan Football!


  2. elizabeth lamar says:

    I had just been wondering about you and whether or no on the surgery. Glad to hear that you are on hold. Of course I was eager to see the photo, but it won’t print. Hm. Had my last physical therapy visit today. It’s good, but I am tired. Margot up tomorrow with Geoffrey and Madeleine and Spencer. Spence goes into high school! Geoffrey back to New York on Saturday – jr. year of college – halfway through. He had a great summer workshop in the Hamptons – part of Stony Brook U. Madeleine back to Amherst for her second college year after credits earned this summer at Oxford, England. Busy! Busy! By the bye, I enjoy completely your feisty language in your emails.


  3. Diana Keim says:

    Fight On, Pam!! Nine more days! We’re all here for you, whenever you need us. HUGS!!


  4. Mike Fischer says:

    Great post… Up until that Trojan comment… Go UT!


  5. Barbara DiCarlo says:

    Pam thanks for the update. You are a strong woman and I continue to pray for you. Life can deal us a shitty hand ! It’s our faith, family and friends that help us get through our journey. Thank you so much for making the Dean Martin CD for my brother in laws funeral . You are truly a special friend. I love you! Barbara


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