The beginning of a long week…

I think that doctors schedule for tons of appointments in the week before surgery so that you don’t have time to think about it.

Last Friday I had an ultrasound of my side because my surgeons knew that there were affected lymph nodes from the big tumor up my side into my armpit but couldn’t actually feel them.  The radiologist found them but they are apparently way in my muscle and have had an effect of some of the veins in that area.  So I may be having another ultrasound this Wednesday to show the surgeon.  If that isn’t enough information, I will have to go to Cardiology and get some super ultrasound.  I don’t even know when that would happen as I’ve don’t have a lot of extra time this week.

From where he was poking around and found the tumors, I’m not too excited at what might be the possible recovery.  As usual, I’m hoping for the best.   Right now, the original tumor feels like it’s doubled in size from a few weeks ago and it’s causing some major pain that shoots up into my shoulder.  If I remember correctly, I had severe shoulder pain with the last one and as soon as it was removed my shoulder felt MUCH BETTER.  Fingers Crossed!

Tomorrow is pre-op with the hospital.  I have to be there around 8:30 – 8:45am.  Not looking forward to getting up at the crack of dawn.  They said it would take about 90 minutes at most.  I’m going armed with information.

Wednesday is my normal lab tests, because it’s a blood week!  Then I see my surgeon/s for further instructions and to get my 1000 questions answered.  I remember most of it from the last time but now it’s different because it is not a mastectomy.  I have no idea if I’ll have drains in or if I’m having a compression bandage.  Lots of questions.

I do know that I’ve got to get a compression sleeve for my left arm.  There’s a risk of lymphedema when you mess with your lymph nodes but I’ve been lucky not to have had my arm swell up.  Now that they are going back in and messing with more lymph nodes, the risk of lymphedema is even higher.  So my plan is to find out if my insurance will cover a sleeve that I can order this week through Norris, then, once I get paid, I’ll get a cutie one in purple or something from a trusted source online.

Thursday is free so far, but Friday is my normal transfusion day, so I’ll be back at Norris.

I’m still unsure about the plan for Monday/Tuesday.  I think I’m getting labs drawn Friday morning and then going back for more blood on Monday so I have extra.  Tuesday I have surgery but I have NO IDEA when!!!  I’m hoping they will tell me tomorrow at pre-op.  I mean, someone has to know, right?

I’m sort of hoping that they will admit me on Monday and give me my blood in the evening and then I’ll already be in a room for surgery. There is a separate tower for surgeries for Norris patients.  Plus, they have room service!  You use your TV to order snacks from food services.  Such fun!!!  I’m totally taking provisions though.  Last time I had to wait forever for the dietary order to go through post-surgery.  I’m not getting caught again.

I’d like to thank you all again for the amazing support and love coming my way.  This time, psychologically, it’s a bit harder.  Plus my medications that suppress my hormones are at war with the tumors that are full of them.  I’m like a crazy person.  Everything is pissing me off to a level that is off-the-charts.  Please divert some of your prayers to my mom who has to listen to me literally screaming obscenities at inanimate objects.   I’m doing better now.  I couldn’t figure out why I was so enraged but now that I have recognized the possible issue, I’m able to better control my outbursts.

Thank god for Prozac and Ativan.

I do have a request.  Please don’t call me.  I’m not a phone person to begin with but right now I’m so overwhelmed and stressed that I just can’t deal with phone conversations.  If you want to text, facebook or email – great!   I just feel the need to totally curl up in the fetal position most of the time and when I uncurl I can answer your texts.   Thank you so much for understanding.

I’m sure I’ll know more tomorrow.  I need to go to bed now as I just looked and I have to get up in 6 hours to get to that stupid appointment.

Fight On!




6 Comments on “The beginning of a long week…”

  1. Penny Korn says:

    Thinking of you Pam and sending lots of love and hugs~ Also your mom too! Hopefully this will just be a drop in the bucket! Remember, Fight On!!


  2. Lori Lewis says:

    Breathe in, breathe out, Trojan. LOTS of stuff going on but you’re the master of keeping those balls in the air (not in THAT way, get your mind out of the gutter!) 😉

    TYSM for keeping us so well posted!!! We’re thinking of you and envisioning your swift and full recovery.

    Love you – FIGHT ON!


  3. Joyce cushnie says:

    Thank goodness you have the best doctors in LA.
    Love to you❤️❤️


  4. Barbara DiCarlo says:

    Pam,Praying, praying and more praying for you! You can shout nasty words to me if you need to. I will let them roll off and you might feel better. Thanks for the up date. I don’t know how the fuck you keep these dates straight! Ciao Bella, love you, Barbara

    Sent from my iPhone



  5. elizabeth lamar says:

    I think about you so often and can imagine the stress you are under. And yes, your mom is having to show so much bravery. I am glad with all you are facing that you are thinking of shopping for that sleeve. Love to you and your mom.


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